STAY WELL IN THIS HELL!

Since starting Mahal Yoga, then KA Wellness, and now THAT BTCH DA WELLNESS WTCH, I feel like I’ve literally been in a weirdass painful, self-digesting chrysalis, just kind of waiting to pop out and be the little mariposa that I always thought I could be without all the shame, failure, and self-doubt.

These past few years have felt confusing, like who even am I? What are my values? Who’s my target audience? What do I even like to create and offer? Am I only good for ____? Upon getting licensed in acupuncture, which was such a gnarly journey in and of itself, I’m in this period of calm, quiet building. I get to move forward on my terms and create the wellness business that feels most authentic for me. I’m taking care of myself finally, not just trying to drown sh*t out so I can simply survive another day, but…a btch is drinking water everyday. She’s doing her hobbies. She’s trying to have boundaries with her electronics. She’s reading her books. She’s tending to her plants. She’s petting her dawgs. She’s planning her wedding. (Yes that’s right, a btch is ENGAGEDDDDD). She/ I finally have the time and space to nourish my body, mind, and spirit. It’s a joy and privilege to be in this space. So I want to use this time and space to build, not just a regular ole acupuncture business, I want to create something communal and comprehensive. I want it to be financially accessible. I want us to be out in nature together. Connecting with each other and with Earth and Water and Trees and sh*t. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned from the past few years of dissociating from my body, having massive brain fog, needing to eat 100 edibles just to survive the day and see the next day, hella s—dal ideation, and just barely holding on mentally, it’s that it is VITAL to have necessary support and ways to take care of ourselves. It’s VITAL to feel like we have reasons to hold on. We have to have nourishing connections with ourselves and with each other.

And I want to be there for you. I want to be a part of a team that helps you stay grounded and connected in your body. So you can show up for yourself. Your families - blood or chosen. Your purpose. And your communities.

WE GOTTA STAY WELL IN THIS HELL, HONEY.

PROPS to different bodies!

PROPS! When I first started doing yoga, props were my friends. They made poses that didn’t initially come naturally to my body so much more accessible. Like having blocks in standing split, a block with half moon, a strap with dancer pose, a strap with forward bends, etc.

However, as I started going to yoga classes more, I could feel a subtle *competitive* factor among my fellow practitioners. Props, all of a sudden, weren’t something to be proud of using. Rather, they showed your “weakness” and your “beginner level.” So, to fit in, to inflate my ego, I’d try and throw myself into physically intense poses without props. I’d come home so sore, and in pain, thinking that that was natural. “This is how you get a ‘yoga body.’” 

First of all, before I continue, I need to address that I’m not one who should be at the forefront of #bodypositivity or #fatpositivity in yoga. My petite body has “beauty currency,” meaning that while I don’t have ripped abs or 3% body fat, my thinness and petiteness blends in with the dominant beauty standard. Therefore, I defer this expertise and this work to womxn like Dianne Bondy, Amber Karnes, and other folks within the Yoga and Body Image Coalition. 

I find the practice of yoga to be so healing. I see how far I’ve come and how much my practice has evolved and blossomed. I, like many, feel so much pride in achieving a pose, or a step towards a pose. Right now, I’m getting a little bit closer to VISVAMITRASANA and STILL working on a bind in my half pigeon using straps.

I also love doing a restorative practice. As someone who has a lot of anxiety, I feel body inflammation a lot. I feel it in my muscles and in my belly. The restorative practice, with blankets, blocks, sandbags, and bolsters helps me to recharge and relax. Props are essential to calling folks with ALL BODY TYPES and SKILL LEVELS IN to healing yoga spaces. Now, if my body…that is fairly thin and fairly in shape feels alienated for using props…then from whom are we depriving access to this transformative mind-body practice? If our goal is to heal and enlighten, then why take away tools that make that accessible for folks with different bodies? Different abilities? Different mobility? Different IDENTITIES? Different experiences? Possible traumas?

This is my Thursday Food for Thought. If you’re a teacher, make sure to keep your eyes peeled. Know when to offer a block, or when to have a strap ready for folks who are SO CLOSE to that bind, or when a blanket might feel good in Yoga Nidra. And if you use props, P R O P S to you for using them!